Meditation for miscarriage, pregnancy after loss and new moms

I remember trying to meditate for the first time. I made every excuse in the book to avoid it. I convinced myself that I did not have time, convinced myself that it wasn’t a good use of my time, that I wasn’t doing it right so what was the point. It took YEARS until I developed a regular practice and it is still a work in progress.

Meditation has so many unbelievable benefits. According to Positive Psychology.com , meditation can reduce physical, mental and emotional disturbances. This can include anxiety, depression, pain, blood pressure, stress, migraines, IBS, ect. Meditation can be so effective.

So if it is so great, why isn’t everyone doing it? What I hear often is that it is hard, you may think you are doing it wrong and if you are doing it wrong what is the point? Other reasons can include you may feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed or don’t want to feel anything.

All of the reasons are valid. I like to invite my clients to start small. Try to take one minute everyday where you just try to tune into your body and breath and go from there. Many of you may find it is easier to do when you have someone guiding you. I certainly do! There are meditations everywhere it seems but finding one that resonates with you is important.

Recently I have created some meditations with you in mind. My library is building slowly but I currently have meditations for miscarriage, pregnancy after loss and motherhood. I will be adding more soon. If you are looking for a specific meditation that is a fit for you please- DM me, reply to this newsletter and let me know what you are looking for and I will do my best to make that available to you.

Interested in learning more about the meditations from a therapist Madison? Click here.

Happy Meditating!

Anxiety therapist Madison: Still coping with Covid-19 and anxiety

This is an article that was modified from another article that I wrote in 2020 about anxiety during covid.

It is 2022. We are still dealing with Covid-19. If you are noticing the weight of it hitting you again you are not alone. We are at the two year mark, going on year 3. Your anxiety may be on the rise again as we head into another year. Here are some coping tips I offered in 2020 which are still applicable now. I have added in a few additional ones.

1. Exercise- exercise is important for physical and mental health. If you have an anxiety disorder exercise plays an essential role in managing anxiety. Exercise not only releases serotonin and endorphins to improve your mood but also can reduce activation in the amygdala which is the area of the brain that sends a distress signal to activate our fight, flight, freeze response. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response

2. Get outside- Time in the outdoors can be restorative. Having deficient levels of vitamin D can also be linked to depression and anxiety. https://www.unitypoint.org/livewell/article.aspx?id=ca7f4766-8ba8-43a2-bbe7-0ef9efab5c6d

3. Meditate- Meditation can improve focus, decrease anxiety, and help with emotion regulation among other benefits.

4. Keep a routine- our bodies thrive on routines. Routines can improve productivity, setting expectations and having some control.

5. Sleep- REM sleep can also play a role in decreasing activation in the amygdala. Setting up a sleep routine can signal to our body when it is time to go to sleep.

6. Social Support- these are hard times. While you many be social distancing from friends you do not need to isolate. Reaching out to friends can provide a sense of normalcy and a sense of belonging.

7. Manage your screen time- Between work, school and socializing online many of your are getting more screen time than you ever have before. Screen time can impact anxiety, sleep and overall well-being.

8. Focus on what you have control of- unfortunately with Covid-19 it may feel like there are many things that are out of your control. Focusing on these can lead to increased anxiety. Instead try focusing on what things are within your control. Make a plan for the things that are in your control, and let go of the things that are out of your control.

9. Stay present- Ask yourself what do I know in this moment instead of the what ifs.

10. Attitude of Gratitude- in the midst of all this chaos there is a lot to be grateful for. What do you feel grateful for? Write it down, say it out loud. Surround yourself with positive messages.

11. Be mindful when reading the news. Is it serving you? Are you finding out anything new? What does knowing this information do for you? How are you feeling when you read the news? Do you need a break?

12. It is okay if your comfort level changes- again, and again and again. Listen to your needs.

13. Get dressed for your day. Even if you are working from home. Even if you don’t have any meetings.

14. Weigh your risks. Everything has a risk when it comes to your physical and mental health. Calculate your risks versus what is important to you and then make your decision on what you are comfortable with.

15. Acceptance- you are living in a global pandemic. If you are having anxiety right now- accept that it is there. Acknowledge it, name it, allow yourself to notice how it feels- notice what sensations go with that feeling and allow them to be there.

    For more information on coping with anxiety during the pandemic or to set up a free 15-minute consultation email julie@kullcounselingmadison.com or 608.239.4807 to work with a therapist Madison.

The emotional toll of a Missed Miscarriage

Having a miscarriage can be devastating. You may know signs and symptoms to look for  when your body may be starting the process of miscarriage and look for those throughout the first trimester. However, you may not know  that you can suffer a loss, but the body may not show signs of a miscarriage. This is referred to as a missed miscarriage.

Having a missed miscarriage can add an extra layer to the grief and trauma around early pregnancy loss. According to www.progny.com, “A missed miscarriage, also known as a missed abortion or a silent miscarriage, occurs when a fetus is no longer alive, but the body does not recognize the pregnancy loss or expel the pregnancy tissue. As a result, the placenta may continue to release hormones, so you may continue to experience signs of pregnancy.” A missed miscarriage can be devastating when there has not been any symptoms, and often, these symptoms may be typical of a healthy pregnancy - i.e., fatigue, nausea, etc. For most of you, you will find out about missed miscarriages when you go into your doctor’s office for your first appointment. One of the happiest days of your life (when you get to see your baby for the first time) can quickly turn to one of your saddest (finding out your baby is no longer alive).

For many carrying partners this can feel like your body has failed you, twice. Once, that your body was not able to carry a baby to term, and twice, because if your pregnancy was to end in a miscarriage why did your body not do this naturally? This can lead to a strong mistrust in your body that may lead to abuse or neglect of yourself. This also can present in a subsequent pregnancy causing anxiety and depression or ptsd. It can feel like your body is not a safe place for a healthy pregnancy after a missed miscarriage.

Having a missed miscarriage also leads you to what can be a difficult and painful decision of deciding how to manage the miscarriage process. While some people will wait to see if their body can complete the miscarriage on its own, most doctors will encourage you to schedule an intervention to manage the miscarriage process for health concerns.

After a decision has been made it can still be weeks to months to complete the process and symptoms of pregnancy may linger for months after that.

It is common to feel many different things, some common ones being shock, anger, denial, grief, shame, jealousy. You may feel a loss of control. It can be helpful to get connected to support during a missed miscarriage whether that is a support group, or a therapist that can help you talk through your decision, feelings and support you through the process and after a loss. Having a miscarriage can be isolating, finding support can make a huge difference.

Finding ways to be present in your body can be an important part of your process. Whether this is through grounding, centering, breathe work or exercise, movement or dance, it is important to be in your body and find healthy ways to reconnect with your body.

For more resources on miscarriage and to learn about the miscarriage support group with a therapist Madison, sign up for my monthly newsletter here. https://www.kullcounselingmadison.com/

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month 2020

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. For me it is the time of year that I think about the baby that I lost through miscarriage. October is the month that I found out I was pregnant. I told my husband by buying pumpkins. One for him, one for our daughter, one for me and a tiny pumpkin to let him know we had a new pumpkin on the way. It was such a happy moment and I remember it so vividly even though it was 6 years ago now. Even though I know it is coming every year I am still surprised by it every year. This year it came early. My rainbow baby pointed to a small pumpkin the other day on our walk and said, “oh mom, look how cute this baby pumpkin” is.

Do you have moments like this? A memory or object that bring up thoughts of your baby?

This month is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. This year is Covid-19. Usually it is a month filled of events that help you by bringing together a community of families that hold their babies in their hearts instead of their hands. This year that will look different. I have included a list of some virtual events in the Madison area. I know this year may be difficult for you because community can be such an important part of your healing journey. Please know that even though we are not able to gather in person, there is still a community here to support you.

OCTOBER:

1st: Miscarriage support group - The free monthly miscarriage support group will meeting virtually on October 1st from 5 - 6:15 p.m. Please email julie@kullcounselingmadison.com to register.

3rd: 10 a.m. CST: Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep virtual walk

The Virtual Walk includes an online presentation with readings, music, and speakers to honor your baby. During the presentation, each baby is honored by having his or her name read aloud.

Also the 3rd: Harley’s Hustle virtual 5k Set your course, set your pace, and just run. Share your pictures by tagging @HarleysHustle on social media.

8th: 6:30 p.m. GPS Hope Janesville (2nd Thursday)

12th: 5:30 - 7 p.m. Bo's Heavenly Clubhouse Support Meetings at Higher Grounds Coffee Shop in Beaver Dam (2nd Monday)

15th - 18th: Forever In Our Hearts Remembrance Day: Join by creating a sense of community and support found at in-person walks. There are many ways to join this event - purchase a yard sign, walk in your community, watch a video of the names of babies being remembered this year, and so on.

26th: 5:30 - 7 p.m. Bo's Heavenly Clubhouse Support Meetings at Higher Grounds Coffee Shop in Beaver Dam (4th Monday)

For more information on miscarriage or the above events email julie@kullcounselingmadison.com or 608.239.4807.

Coping with Anxiety and Covid-19

In the last few weeks it may feel that your world has been turned upside down. Many of you may be quarantined, social distancing, staying at home or safer at home. In this time of uncertainty, Covid-19, many of you may be feeling an increase of anxiety. Here are some tips for managing anxiety during the pandemic.

1. Exercise- exercise is important for physical and mental health. If you have an anxiety disorder exercise plays an essential role in managing anxiety. Exercise not only releases serotonin and endorphins to improve your mood but also can reduce activation in the amygdala which is the area of the brain that sends a distress signal to activate our fight, flight, freeze response. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response

2. Get outside- Time in the outdoors can be restorative. Having deficient levels of vitamin D can also be linked to depression and anxiety. https://www.unitypoint.org/livewell/article.aspx?id=ca7f4766-8ba8-43a2-bbe7-0ef9efab5c6d

3. Meditate- Meditation can improve focus, decrease anxiety, and help with emotion regulation among other benefits.

4. Keep a routine- our bodies thrive on routines. Routines can improve productivity, setting expectations and having some control.

5. Sleep- REM sleep can also play a role in decreasing activation in the amygdala. Setting up a sleep routine can signal to our body when it is time to go to sleep.

6. Social Support- these are hard times. While you many be social distancing from friends you do not need to isolate. Reaching out to friends can provide a sense of normalcy and a sense of belonging.

7. Manage your screen time- Between work, school and socializing online many of your are getting more screen time than you ever have before. Screen time can impact anxiety, sleep and overall well-being.

8. Focus on what you have control of- unfortunately with Covid-19 it may feel like there are many things that are out of your control. Focusing on these can lead to increased anxiety. Instead try focusing on what things are within your control. Make a plan for the things that are in your control, and let go of the things that are out of your control.

9. Stay present- Ask yourself what do I know in this moment instead of the what ifs.

10. Attitude of Gratitude- in the midst of all this chaos there is a lot to be grateful for. What do you feel grateful for? Write it down, say it out loud. Surround yourself with positive messages.

    For more information on coping with anxiety during the pandemic or to set up a free 15-minute consultation email julie@kullcounselingmadison.com or 608.239.4807.